Tonight I planned on writing a long entry on how I feel like I'm falling back into depression, I feel unloved, not good enough, not smart enough. I know, I'm really just throwing myself a pity party because I know what your Word says. I know I'm your first choice. I know you love me more than anything else in this world.
So I decided to write about something else: happiness is a choice. It is much more than a feeling. I have to decide to be happy, and no one else can make that decision for me. I planned tonight to cry myself to sleep, but then I watched a Youtube video (CrystalOTv - Dare to Let Go of Negative Feelings/Bad Moods) and listened to a song for the first time (Kirk Franklin - Wanna Be Happy). I've had a lot going on but I have chosen not to think about that. I really and truly need to stop only telling you how big my problems are and I need to tell my problems how big you are.
I am more than a conqueror, through Christ. I am never forsaken. I have new strength because I have decided to trust in you. I know that you are working on me, and for me. I know I have to be patient, and enduring. I know that when I do get out of this season in my life, I will be so happy I went through it because I came out stronger, wiser, closer to you and happier.
God come into my heart and fight my battles for me. I can't fight on my own. On my own I am weak, but with you I am strong and more than a conqueror. I am an overcomer, and I will overcome this in Jesus' name.