The season of bae is upon us once again. Winter is approaching, and man wanna be “cuddled up” during the short days and long nights ahead of us. I just want to share one very simple, cliché but vital point with my single ladies (and gentlemen) out there:
Enjoy your singleness.
Some of you are probably rolling your eyes right now, but honestly it’s so key. And helpful too. Do you really want to always be looking longingly at the next girl, with her boo hand-in-hand, wishing so badly that that was you with your man (that doesn’t exist)? Doesn’t it get tiring? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been there. I’m not about to pretend like I don’t know how it feels like to long for a boyfriend, and think about how “happier” I’d be and “better” my life would be if I had one. But it doesn’t work. Being single, and constantly thinking of being in a relationship isn’t healthy. Not only that, it doesn’t help. Mr. Right isn’t just going to magically appear out of thin air because you’ve been daydreaming about him.
Being single and constantly thinking of being in a relationship strips you of the joy of actually being single, so it’s a lose-lose in the end.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1
And maybe it’s just not your time to be in a relationship, sis.
Do you guys know how LIT being single is? Like on a real? And I don’t mean the I-dont-have-a-man-to-hold-be-back-so-imma-be-wild kinda lit. There are so many perks of being single, like:
You’re the boss of your own time.
You save hella money.
You don’t have to compromise on anything.
You can enjoy the friends around you, building close bonds with them. Being in a relationship can sometimes take away from the time you have to get closer to other people.
You have more time to spend with GOD. I’m so grateful for my singleness cause I literally have so much time to spend with God, enjoying His presence and being shaped into the woman He wants me to be.
And if these perks aren’t convincing enough for you, then just think of it this way: you can’t change the fact that you’re single. Not by wishing you weren’t, anyway.
DISCLAIMER: I am NOT saying that being single is better than being in a relationship, or vice versa. I am simply saying that each has its own perks, and we should learn to be content and happy with the stage of our lives that we’re currently at.
And please don’t even think of lowering your standards and settling for less just because you feel lonely. If you’re cold, buy a blanket. You have your girl friends around (and guys you have your guy friends. Sorry, I keep leaving y’all out). Have fun with your friends. On Valentine’s Day, my girls and I decided to treat ourselves and go on a dinner date together. We got each other gifts (like Secret Santa), and we had a sleepover and it was extremely fun.
You really don’t need a guy in your life to be happy, or to have fun.
Redefine your definition of happiness, and if your joy truly comes from the Lord, you’ll be happy regardless.
Especially if you’re my age. Like c’mon guys, you’re in your teens/twenties, acting like you’re old and going to be single forever? (With that being said, there’s nothing wrong with not getting married. The truth is that not everyone is going to get married and some people are called to be single, and that’s okay.)
It’s weird, I used to think people who said “I don’t want to be in a relationship” were crazy. How can you not want to be in a relationship?? Someone you always have to fall back on, who’s always the first person you want to break news to, good or bad; and most importantly, someone to ask you if you’ve eaten.
But once I stopped focusing on the fact that I wasn’t in a relationship, and started focusing on God and the perks of being a young Christian woman with so much passion and ambition for the future, I stopped desiring to be in a relationship so bad. In fact, right now, I don’t even want to be in a relationship and I just want to enjoy being single. Think about it. By the grace of God, the next guy I date is going to be my husband. So that means that from the next guy I date, I’m never going to be single ever again. So I might as well enjoy the time I have left being single, and so should you if you are. In the meantime, make sure you’re praying for your future spouse cause boy, the devil is working overtime.